Day Sixteen: Lessons learned.

{Today I'm grateful for warm cozy blankets. Nothing like cuddling up with a soft blanket.}



Day Sixteen: Things you've learned in life so far:

Well, I know I haven't lived very long compared to lots of people but, I feel like I've learned quite a bit in my nineteen years.

Family really is everything. They will be there for you through everything.Weather they know how to handle the situation or not, they will be there for you and do their best to help you through it.

Most friends wont stay with you through the hard times, or the times that you aren't going through the same thing. If you find the ones that will, you are very lucky. They will help you through life.

Life is hard. It's always up and down, and you never can/should expect anything but the unknown.

Take people seriously when talking about a serious subject.

You can't please everyone.

Take the chance to tell the people that you love, how you feel about them and how much they mean to you. Something can always take the chance away and you don't want to miss it.

Children are the most loving, forgiving, caring, perfect, beings on earth.

Don't sweat the little stuff. {And I'm working on that}

Tomorrow isn't always going to be there, so make the most of today.

God works in funny ways, but he is always there watching out for you.

Take care of yourself. Not everyone has the best intentions.

Be forgiving of others but especially to yourself.

Don't judge. You dont know the past, present, or future of someone.

Some people really do just want to help; accept it.

Death is a pain that stays with you forever. Everyone handle's it differently. Be there for the person who is suffering.

Depression is a hard thing to deal with, especially if you are dealing with it alone.

People will judge you for everything, don't listen to them. Be confident with who you are.

Stay little for as long as you can. Being an adult is a lot less fun and so much harder. Enjoy being young and have as much fun as you can. Real life will get you as soon as it can.. Put it off as long as you can. Don't rush to grow up.

Love yourself, forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, Live Laugh Love.

There are so many others, I'm sure I will be updating this often.

Day fifteen. People of importance.

{Today I'm grateful for a person I've found a fourth brother, in. Taylor Zane Clark. I've grown quite fond of this man, and it's hard not to. He has taught Zach so much in his life and I know that Zach looks up to him more than anyone else. He's also helped Zach and I out with so many things. I really appreciate everything that he and his wife, Michelle, have done for us. They are amazing people and really great family. Happy Birthday Tay. We love you.}

Day Fifteen: Write about two important people in your life.

  This is hard because there are so many important people! Obvious ones like my parents, my brothers, Zach, Kinslee.. But I feel like I've talked about them to the point where I've beaten their names with a stick. So I'm thinking of some that are less obvious, but just as important.

Neil Godfrey: Neil has been one of my best friends since I was a sophmore in High School.. 5 years. He and I just clicked. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met. But, he definitely has a temper. He's a very hard worker, he's reliable, he cares, he is very trustworthy, he has a good out look on things, he's funny, smart, loving, so easy to get along with, he is just.. An amazing friend. There was a time where I really relied on Neil, and he took that responsibility, and helped keep me afloat. He and I think quite a bit alike, and we've always gotten along really well. He has always been there for me and I know he always will be. I hope that he know's the same. He is someone I really look up to. He's been through so much and he is still so positive. He gives me strength. I really miss the "AdVeNtUrEs" that he and I always shared. We used to be together basically every single day. He would come pick me up at 7 am, 10 pm, 3 am.. Any time, always. He was supportive when Zach and I started daiting, he was supportive when we found out I was pregnant, through our marriage, through us being new parents and throughout raising Kinslee. He is an amazing person and I dont know where I would be without him. It's a scary thought. He and I have been through so much together. Seen so many things together, done so many things together. I'm sad that we have had to grow up so much in such a little amount of time, and I'm sad that I dont get to see him as much as I would like but he means the world to me and always be a very important and influential person in my life. As well as someone who constantally watched out for me and protected me from so many things.. Including myself. I love you with all my heart, Neil. You are an amazing person and friend. I cherish everything that we've been through together because I couldn't have done it without you.

Josh Vande Merwe: I met this kid when we were in 7th grade. I distinctly remember that he had a pink cast on his arm, while we were in the same math class. We would kind of smile and utter a "hi" to each other in passing, until sophmore year. Then we had another class together {english this time}, and he sat right behind me. We talked quite a bit, and got to know each other better. Junior year was when he really started to be a part of my life, and he still is. Junior year wasn't such a great year for me, but Josh made it a little bit easier. He gave me someone to talk to, who wasn't grieving the same loss I was. I could talk to him about anything and he might not have understood what I fully meant, but he listened and tried to make sense of it, with me. He tried talking a whole ton of sense into me {which.. I wish I would have listened to}, and he's just such a mello and happy person, that it's so easy to get along with him, and listen to him.. Even if you dont plan on taking his advice. He could usually make me smile, even when I didn't want to. We can talk about what book I'm reading {even twilight ;)} what movie to go see, how naughty Kinslee was this day..We can/have talk about everything under the sun.. And it's just a flowing conversation. I really appreciate having him in my life for so many different reasons. Mainly, he is a great friend to me, he can make me look at things in a different perspective, he is positive, he listens to me, and gives me someone to talk/complain to, I can trust him, he is respective, smart, caring, and he is genuinely a good person--that's hard to find. I'm glad that we became friends and that we've stayed very good friends. Thank you Josh, for the support you've given me. Thank you for listening to me complain for the past 4 years, thank you for putting up with it! I really appreciate everything that you've done for me and the kind of friend you are to me. Friend, thank you for being you!

Birthday Breakdown.

{Today I'm grateful that both of our families support us as much as they do.}

  I'm going to try and do a quick birthday breakdown of our birthday weekend for Kinslee.

Saturday!

  Saturday was Kinslee's family birthday party. The gathering took place in Clarkston, at Zach's grandparents house. It snowed a lot Friday night and I was getting quite woried about everyone being able to make it safely out there but, we had almost everyone out there and anyone's reason that they couldn't make it had nothing to do with the roads being bad so it worked out.

  We played with balloons, had cake and ice cream, opened presents, and went sledding. For me, it was really fun and actually a perfect day. I hardly ever have a day that I consider perfect. I'm usually either stressing out over something, or being a perfectionist. But it was perfect. I wasn't stressed, or perfecting.. I was peaceful and I haven't been peaceful in a very very long time. And I think it was because Aryn was there celibrating with us.

  Sledding was so much fun. Zach got our snowmobile up and going, rode over to the park, {yeah, that's Clarkston for ya.} and we went sledding with my mom, Zach's sister & brother in law, and their kids, his other sister and brother in law. It was really fun. The kids were hilarious to watch. They loved it!!

Sunday!

  Zach, Kinslee, and I went back out to Clarkston, revved up the snowmobile again and went on our way. We rode all around in the beautiful sunshine {it was a gorgeous day!}, went sledding out in the middle of nowhere, made snow angels.. It was a great day too. We went back to Zach's grandparents house and tried to give Kinslee a nap but of course that didn't work {she refuses to sleep anywhere except her crib} but she wasn't very ornery. We sat and talked with Zach's brother, Taylor & Michelle for hours. It was nice.

I think they look so much alike in this pictre. Same expression on their face. Minus Zach's smile.

My two forevers.

So much fun.

Monday!

  Monday was the actual day of Kinslee's birth. But it's nice having a birthday weekend! It was definitely a good choice to celebrate for three days straight! Haha.

  In the morning, we woke up, gave Kinslee her personal birthday cake, sang happy birthday, ate cake, gave her a bath, and everyone got ready. We drove around, went to lunch at Old Gristmill, went to grandmas {my mom} and we set up the present that my mom gave Kinslee. It's a little hut thing with a tunnel attached to it that she crawls through.. She adores it! It's really fun to watch her because she enjoys it so much.

This is how she decided to eat her cake.

Happy Two!!

Cheese!

Crawlin through the tunnel.

Checking it all out...

She loves it!

My wonderful little family.

Kinslee looks so stoked!

--Side note. Kinslee stuffed her face that day. She woke up around 9:30, had cereal for breakfast, then cake {mostly frosting}, then when we got in the car she was snacking on pretzels and oranges and she ate quite a few of them! Then at lunch {which was at 11:30}, she ate some of my sandwich, bread, lots of soup, lots of chili, some of Zach's sandwich.. Seriously she stuffed her face. It was so funny but I'm positive she is growing because she's eating so much lately and sleeping so much too. So it's fine. But she acted like she hadn't eaten in a year!

  After playing in the hut, she had a nap, I took Zach to work, and just hung out. Then we went over to my friend Jenn's house and Kinslee got to open two more presents!

  Kinslee is a very lucky girl to have so many people love her already. I'm glad that we've got so many people who are close to us and love to celebrate with us as well as love our daughter almost as much as we do.

--Kinslee, I can't believe that you are already two years old! It seems like just yesterday I was feeling you move in my stomach for the very first time, like I was going to visit you in the hospital, like you just came home, like you just got your first tooth, just said your first word {momma}, first rolled over, crawled, walked, first Halloween, first Christmas, first birthday, first started walking, then running.. I can't believe how big you've gotten, how many words and sounds you know, how long your hair is, how blue your eyes are, how beautiful you are. Sometimes it still seems so unreal that you are mine. But then other times it feels like you've been with me my entire life. I love that you have my eyes, nose and lips, I love that you have your fathers curls, personality, determination, and spunk. I love that you have a soft side, I love that you are not afraid.--That kind of scares me but I think if you put it to good use, you can and will go very far in life. I love how sweet and caring you are. I love that you love to give hugs and kisses. I envy how forgiving you are. I love your laugh. I love that you are a natural helper. I love when you look in my eyes, stroke my hair, and kiss my cheek, and say, "love you". I love every single thing about you. Nobody can love you more then your mommy. Xox.

Happy birthday, girl whose two!

{Today I'm grateful for my wonderful baby girl, who isn't so much a baby anymore.}

Today, February 28th, 2011, Kinslee Kristine Clark turned the big TWO! So, I'm going to give a run down on exactly what I remember from two years ago today, which brought me this little girl.

Friday afternoon, 2/27/09

I was sitting at my parents house doing laundry.

 4:00-I head to work. That night was actually busy. I remember because I kept complaining to everyone that I worked with that my back and feet hurt.

10:30-I go home. Zach's not home. I call him, he doesn't answer.

10:40- I sit down at my kitchen table and look at my pregnancy book about when your water breaks what it does and feels like. I decide to get a drink from the fridge. I bend over to see what's to choose from, and SPLASH. Water broke. I immediately start bawling. I call Zach. No answer. I call Zach like 6 more times, finally an answer {he says he was helping some old lady with her car and some light but I dunno... Ha}. I somehow manage to tell him that I think my water broke. Somehow, he understands and zooms home. I call my mom, no answer. I call my sister, ask her if her water broke, what I needed to do.. She asked if I felt contractions yet and I did a little but they didn't hurt too much.. Yet.

11:00-Zach finally got home, and we got to the hospital. They ask how far along I am {7 1/2 months along} and then that's where they stop believing me. They check me to see if it really was my water that broke or if I just peed my pants. {Something Zach has asked me to.. Love to see that people think so highly of me.} So when they confirm it really had broken, they give me a little shot for the pain and hook me up with wires and such. They asked if I wanted to eat because it would be at least a few days before I had her. I tried and I just kept throwing it up.
12:00 Saturday 2/28/09 They started giving me shots to help Kinslee's lungs to develop and shots to stop my contractions. Well, the pain kept getting worse and worse, and Zach kept asking for me to get more medicine. The nurses kept saying no, no, she's not going into labor so we can't give her anything, she just has to wait... Well after 3 hours of this, Zach finally just left the door of my hospital room open so they could hear me. Ha! Well after that, they came running in asking it it really hurt that bad. Looking back, I wish I would have said, No I'm just rehearsing for a play. But so they finally checked me and found out I was dilated to an 8. So, another half hour later, the guy who does the epidural finally showed up and gave it to me. I was in so much pain before that I didn't even feel the needle go in. After the epidural kicked in, my first words were.. "Can I have that Popsicle now?" Hahaha. So at first I had a grape flavored o'ne, then cherry, then grape again. I was feeling good. The nurse told me to push once. Then she said, Woah dont push anymore We've got to get the doctor here."
6:00 am Well finally the doctor got there and I pushed for 15 minutes, and then Kinslee came to meet the world. {6:23 am} There were about 9 nurses in there helping Kinslee. Zach cut the cord and she was taken away to the NICU. They were really worried about her being able to breath because she was so premature. I didn't get to see her until she was about 10 hours old. But I had been told that she had tons of dark curly hair. And they were right.

Kinslee Kristine. 4 LBS 14 OZ. 6 hours old.

My tiny baby girl, 9 days old.

Proud daddy.

Grandma came to see her almost everyday.

Tiny baby.

Happy mommy.

First family picture. 6 days old.

13 Days old.

So many wires.

This was Kinslee's room in the NICU. All of those things kept her going.

Sweet little girl.

Kinslee spent a month in the hospital before she could come home. It was hard but it also was kind of nice. Zach and I had only been married for a month before she came into the world, and I still had homework to do. So I would bring my history book to the hospital and sit in her room, watching her, trying to focus on King Aurthur.. Or Abe Lincoln {shows how much I paid attention}.

My life has been forever altered because of this little girl. But in every single way it has been changed for the better. I can not imagine my life any other way, and I would never want it a different way. Yes, it is hard and sometimes I need a break. But I love everything about my life. We've come so far in the past two years, and I can't believe it's been two whole years! Kinslee has gone from being 4 lbs in the hospital, to a full 32 lbs running around creating havoc everywhere she goes. I am so blessed to have this wonderful little girl. She makes me laugh everyday. She is a girly girl, but can get rough with the boys. She is strong and she is already independent.. Which scares me a little. She is so bright and full of life and energy. She loves me among her binki, juice, baths, her dolls, naps, phones, painting her nails, cartoons, of course her father, grandparents, uncles and aunts, and cousins. She is one amazing little girl and I am so happy that she is mine.

Two years later, I got my Diva.

Birthday party.

My Valentine.

The past two years: